I guess this is essentially a blog. This is where I put my random
thoughts.
June 10th, 2024, 9:20 AM UTC-5
I am both horrified and relieved that I seem to have dodged the lolcow bullet sent out by the
gods with my name on it; I think about the way I acted in the past and go, "My god... I was made
to be made fun of!" but thankfully I'm self-aware now. Still not remotely normal or even
respectable for that matter but at least I'm not like --- ugh *shivers* --- that. Sometimes
internalized ableism can be a good thing
April 11th, 2024, 9:10 AM UTC-5
Was at an event at my college last night and the fire alarm went off,
which I was pretty sure was because said event was over at the time
and somebody REALLY wanted us out of there, and sure enough it's the
next morning and I have not been notified of any fires on campus.
Somebody's gonna get in troubleeeeee
April 2nd, 2024, 4:32 PM UTC-5
Burning some candles rn so I can scam people on Etsy (sell spells)
cuz I'm broke and it's actually really aesthetically pleasing
I also obtained a free art print from a bus driver on my way home
from school bc he saw my bag of art supplies and apparently giving
out prints of his art to fellow artists is a thing he does so I guess
I'll have to get a frame for that
April 2nd, 2024, 11:34 AM UTC-5
I think it's so funny that people from the coasts seem to think there's
only like one (1) proper city in the midwest (Chicago) and
everything else is just cornfields and towns that are so small they're
practically villages. Like I've been watching Supernatural (on
season 5 currently) and there was this one episode set in
Duluth, MN that depicted it as the middle of nowhere and I was
like "You realize Duluth is a sea port right??? And cities tend to
spring up around ports??????" and of course there was another
episode set in Sioux Falls, SD that acted like it was a teeny tiny
small town where everyone knows everyone but I've been there for
one of my sister's show choir performances (they're in the
band) and no it isn't?????? Course the worst example I've seen
was actually an episode of The X-Files that treated fucking
MINNEAPOLIS like it was a small town. It was described as a
place where people still keep their doors unlocked and I was
FLABBERGASTED lmfao. Also, for reference, those cities have
populations ~2×, ~5×, and ~10× the max small town population
respectively lol
April 1st, 2024, 11:17 PM UTC-5
Sometimes I scroll through pics of vintage pins on Pinterest cuz I
think they're cool and I am NOT lying when I say that whenever I see
these specific pins my brain automatically reads them in voices
that sound like old movie audio. Like with that muffled sort of sound
y'know
April 1st, 2024, 4:24 AM UTC-5
Thinkin about how it's probably too late for me in terms of friendship,
not because I'm friendless at 18, but because I've spent so long alone
and become irreversibly bitter and unable to properly socialize because
of it
April 1st, 2024, 12:16 AM UTC-5
Cannot BELIEVE how much this drawing of a spooky face is getting
to me. I seem to have developed a genuine fear of closing my eyes
for too long because my wretched brain (separate
"pseudoconciousness" that hates me, but that's another story) just
LOVES to project images of it onto the backs of my eyelids, which
could be useful experience for if I ever decide to rewrite Murder's
story, considering the new lore I've created for her, but in the
moment it's absolute bullshit. So. Congratulations to whoever's behind
this thing for creating an analog horror video that actually fucking
scared me for once
March 30th, 2024, 3:24 AM UTC-5
Listened to Every Breath You Take by The Police to calm down.
Makes perfect sense
March 30th, 2024, 12:45 AM UTC-5
IDK why The Boiled One Phenomenon is sticking with me so much.
It's not even that scary (and is, in my honest opinion, kind of
ridiculous and trying way too hard) but every night in the
shower I think of that face and feel like there's someone behind
me.
I'm an "ex"-hypochondriac and during those 3 years I thought
the fear I'm experiencing now would be vastly preferable to the
fear I experienced then, and yeah, I'm not puking and shivering
and wishing I was never born, but at least then I could sit down
and mope in peace!
I can hear the neighbors partying outside right now. It's
keeping my mind tethered to reality, knowing that someone
else is around
March 28th, 2024, 12:16 AM UTC-5
Just listened to Transylvania 6-5000 by Paul Chiten and thought for the
millionth time about making a """Phone Guy Playlist""" but it's just
songs where a phone is a major plot point (surprisingly common)
March 25th, 2024, 11:56 PM UTC-5
Watched WOWMAN's video about The Boiled One Phenomenon today (not that
I watch WOWMAN's videos often or am particularly into analog horror
(and in fact I have some... opinions about the genre), but it
intrigued me) and it's absolutely HAUNTING me and I HATE that
because the premise is incredibly cheesy and I've seen it
done a million times before, they just designed a scary-ass
monster and drew one (1) scary-ass picture of it (the one where
it's standing over the viewer shrouded in darkness) and those
things really got to me. I played some Tetris tho so that should
help ease my mind :) (Tetris can help you forget things you don't
want to remember)
February 29th, 2024, 3:41 PM CST
Thinkin about that time I listened to Enjoy the Silence by Depeche
Mode and it gave me an Insatiable Thirst For Fanfiction (??????)
and then I spent an entire day in my room doing nothing but
reading fanfiction. I didn't even get up to eat anything X_X
February 29th, 2024, 1:54 PM CST
IDK how else to articulate this but The Loneliest Boy in the World
is just Ed Gein good ending
February 20th, 2024, 10:38 AM CST
This is what I'm worried will happen if I add a guestbook here
lmaooo
Also sorry I haven't posted anything in a few weeks I didn't
kill myself I just wasn't feelin it lolz
February 3rd, 2024, 12:49 AM CST
BRO I WAS SO FUCKING SCARED ABOUT MY INTERVIEW AND WAS
CONSIDERING CANCELLING IT BUT THE STORE IS NO LONGER HIRING
IT'S A MIRACLE *cries*
February 1st, 2024, 12:10 PM CST
OMG I GOT AN INTERVIEW :DDDDDD
Though to be fair it is the grocery store, so I can't imagine
they're too terribly picky about their employees, BUT STILL
'Course, now I have to figure out how to do a job interview. So.
February 1st, 2024, 9:06 AM CST
Bruh I applied for a job at the grocery store and I had to send an
email today >.< Professional emails freak me out so currently
I'm like "OOOHHHHHH NOOOOOO WHAT IF I DID IT WRONG AND THEY THINK
MY EMAIL IS CRINGE"
January 27th, 2024, 4:59 PM CST
I realized recently that I didn't really have a set way I drew
Raven's hair so I decided to standardize it. It's really fun to
draw in my opinion and I can't stop making doodles of her (which
is why this drawing is so pixelated... it came from a series of
doodles)
January 26th, 2024, 2:36 AM CST
There was this like little fuckin kid on the bus today (well,
technically yesterday) talking to presumably his friend over
the phone about "snatching bitches???"
January 26th, 2024, 1:52 AM CST
This movie is from 2007 and I will not lie CGI hasn't changed
much in the past 17 years lol. I'm also literally only watching
it because I was like "Oh yeah I havn't seen that movie since I
was like 4"
January 26th, 2024, 1:23 AM CST
I'm watching The Water Horse rn
January 23rd, 2024, 11:14 PM CST
I think I'd take the $10,000,000 thank u very much lol
January 23rd, 2024, 10:58 PM CST
I've been on the hunt for terrible 80s movies to watch lately
and in my search stumbled upon Short Circuit and *batteries not
included for the first time in a million years and remembered that
I fuckin LOVED those movies as a kid and now that I think about it
probably only watched them in the first place because my grandpa
is really into sci-fi. Anyways I suppose I'll have to watch them
again at some point lol
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Sometimes I want to kill myself. Sometimes I want to kill other
people. Sometimes I'm sitting on a bench in my school's common
area, sore as fuck after my strength training class, eating cheese
crackers and drinking an absolutely massive can of raspberry
tea, and listening to some really fuckin beautiful music that
somebody's playing on the piano they have down there
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
There's this guy in my intro to painting class named fucking
MARSHALL MOON and he looks exactly like Edgar from JTHM???
Also I always say I can't take criticism but when my professor
criticizes my art I'm just like "OK thx ^.^" because it's proper
art criticism. This is the first and only time in my life that
criticism hasn't made me want to cry
January 22nd, 2024, 9:57 AM CST
People LOVE to be like "Tee-hee I'm so weird I'm a feral goblin
who lives in the woods named Arson ^.^ >:3" but I know FOR A
FACT that if I hissed at them like I did when I was a kid they
would flinch away and laugh awkwardly
January 19th, 2024, 2:18 PM CST
Goddamn American public transport is bullshit. I'm looking for a
job and I've found a few that would be PERFECT were it not for
the fact that they're completely inaccessable by bus >:/
January 18th, 2024, 9:18 AM CST
Thinkin about that time I was talking about Nyan~ Neko Sugar Girls
like it was some Great Intellectual Masterpiece
January 18th, 2024, 8:27 AM CST
More and more I realize that I'm probably too fucked up now to ever
have the relationship I want because people will see me and be like "OMG
hi Hazel :DDD" and I'll act really standoffish because I never
expect people to talk to me (and honestly I never learned how to hold
a conversation) and of course all these people are so nice and respect
my boundaries so they leave me alone, and I'm here being fully aware
of all that and in my self-loathing and desperation I find myself
hoping that, by some miracle, some crazy person will become obsessed
with me and ALSO be exactly my type. Really I just want someone to
tame me like a feral cat because I'm a huge wimp and don't want to step
out of my comfort zone, but you know what I mean
January 15th, 2024, 1:59 AM CST
Thinkin about how I could literally take a picture of like fuckin.
Montana or the inside of a Party City or whatever and post it somewhere
and people would be like "OMG so liminal ♡v♡" even though it's just
Montana or the inside of a Party City
January 14th, 2024, 12:07 PM CST
In the description for the one singular drawing of Murder I've posted
here (so far) I'm like "I don't think 12-year-old me was OK :/" but like.
She really wasn't she was hallucinating, delusional, suicidal, sleep-
deprived, etc. But it's 6 (technically 7???) years later and I
seem to be doing much better because now the only part of that that
applies is "suicidal, sleep-deprived, etc." :)
January 14th, 2024, 10:49 AM CST
I kind of want to get a chest binder specifically so I can see how
ridiculous I would look if I were flat chested because I have a 28-
inch ribcage. The only reason I look remotely normal is because of my
big huge tiddies
January 14th, 2024, 9:27 AM CST
Got into an argument w/ my sister last night about making an effort
to be friends with people and the thing about that is if I'm trying
to make friends by just talking to anyone near me whether or not I find
them interesting I'm almost certainly not going to find what I'm
looking for. I'm looking for someone who gets me, not just more casual
friends who think I'm cute and someone to be pitied and handled with care.
I want someone who's just as emotionally invested in me as I am in
them. It would be a nice change of scenery for once
January 13th, 2024, 12:40 AM CST
I'm watching The Last Unicorn right now because it's great. I have to
be up at 9 tomorrow but whatevs lmao
January 12th, 2024, 2:14 PM CST
I was looking at adhesive vampire fangs on Amazon because I think it
would be fun to just wear them casually and all the models had their
teeth filed down??? Their canines were flat and their incisors
were abnormally short and level??? The things we do for beauty
January 12th, 2024, 12:50 PM CST
There's this weird messed up car in my neighborhood that sounds exactly
like the thing from The Thing when it drives around
January 12th, 2024, 12:30 PM CST
We're going to New Orleans over spring break and staying in a haunted
hotel and I just think it would be really funny if we experienced/captured
convincing paranormal evidence and my dad STILL didn't believe in
ghosts (because that would 100% happen. It's happened before, in fact, and
I've written about it here)
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
To make a long story short (discovering I'm Otherhearted) I recently
learned that some starseeds (just to be clear, I don't believe in
any of that UFO religion stuff; frankly, the vibes disgust me) apparently
believe their purpose on Earth is malicious, which is SO fucking funny to
me. Imagine wholeheartedly believing that your Divine(?) Purpose
is to like. Prepare Earth for an alien invasion or whatever. Imagine
having a whole friend group like that and you're all just like "Hehehe
we're going to take over Earth >:)" Actually I could probably write a
short story/comic/whatever about that. That could be fun lol
January 12th, 2024, 12:02 PM CST
Because of the whole "I Have Got To Start Dressing Weirder" thing I should
probably actually start wearing all the kandi I've made over the past
few months. Oh no this combined w/ the GIR hat and skeleton gloves etc.
means I'm becoming scene O.O Rawr XD I guess
January 12th, 2024, 11:53 AM CST
I have this long brown coat that I suspect unfortunately makes me Incredibly
Sexy because since starting to wear it I've been flirted with more
than any other time in my life. This is a problem because I'm an aroace
lesbian (yes, that is a thing) and all of the people flirting w/ me are
men. I've recently started wearing a GIR hat, though, so hopefully
that should offset it. I'm also hoping it'll help me make friends bc it
very clearly and nonverbally shows that I'm A Weirdo and also A Fan Of
Invader Zim and should therefore attract likeminded people
January 12th, 2024, 1:12 AM CST
OMG speaking of movies I like that I never hear people talk about:
my favorite movie ever is The Secret of Kells, and of course I also
think anyone reading this should go watch that, too, because it's SO GOOD
January 12th, 2024, 12:58 AM CST
I'm watching Vibes for the second time bc it's a fun movie but to my
knowledge, anyway, hardly anybody knows about it. If you're seeing
this, I recommend checking it out. It's about psychics and it has
Cyndi Lauper in it
January 11th, 2024, 1:58 AM CST
THE MELATONIN ISN'T WORKING I TOOK IT LIKE 3 HOURS AGO
January 10th, 2024, 9:09 PM CST
My favorite graffiti in the whole world is
located on one of the walls on the dead side
of the mall (such an empty, putrefying husk
that even the section of parking lot outside it
is barren) and reads "FUCK U BiᵗCh"
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
So I have this GIR hat that I wear all the
time bc it's cold out and there's also this
guy I've seen on the bus like two times who
wears a Jack Skellington hat all the time and
I wonder if sometime soon we'll see each
other and have a moment of Emo Understanding
January 10th, 2024, 1:39 AM CST
Every day I think about that Tumblr post
that's like "GIR!!! GIR WRITE THE CALLOUT
POST" because I suck
January 10th, 2024, 1:25 AM CST
I know for a fact this website is going to be
one of those things I'll regret severely in the
future but whatever. It's fun and useful now
January 10th, 2024, 1:03 AM CST
I say "tortured artist." The torture in question
is the existence of bacteria I use disinfectant
wipes on my body (pro tip Lysol wipes will burn the
skin off ur hands if u use them too much so DO NOT
use them the same way I use disinfectant
wipes :) )
January 10th, 2024, 12:36 AM CST
I say I'm not that goth because I don't dress
goth and I only listen to like 4 goth bands but
then I'm literally a ~Tortured Artist~ who
collects bones and antique medical equipment
and whose work often features murder and
psychological torment even when it's supposed
to be funny
January 10th, 2024, 12:20 AM CST
The difference between my sister and I is that
she's like "I'm 17 I need to get my life in
order >:/" and I'm like "I'm 18 I should be
at the club"
January 9th, 2024, 7:38 PM CST
Saw some navy recruitment posters at the
transit center today that were like "This is
a job with great benefits :) It'll help
with college tuition :)))" but you can't fool
me! I'm not risking my life for tuition money
January 9th, 2024, 8:47 AM CST
Just stumbled across a 5 Minute Crafts-type
cooking hack video on Pinterest where this
lady ripped a fish in half with her bare
hands?????????
January 9th, 2024, 8:38 AM CST
January 9th, 2024, 8:25 AM CST
Now that I've started school again, be
prepared for Angsty Thoughts, especially on
Thursdays because I'll be Alone With Nothing
To Do In The Middle Of The Night (I have a
class between 6:30 and 9:15 PM and take the
bus) and those are the perfect conditions for
Angsty Thoughts, ex. being compelled to
leap into traffic whilst waiting for the bus
January 8th, 2024, 1:36 AM CST
Cannot believe I'm listening to fuckin. Ambient
synth music from the Stranger Things
soundtrack and crying bc synth music ~~moves
me~~ at 1 AM on a school night
January 7th, 2024, 4:18 PM CST
Obviously I didn't post about it then but I
made a post on r/TipOfMyTongue (ugh, Reddit,
I know) a couple days ago asking about this
movie I watched like a million years ago
and had been looking for for about as long
simply because I couldn't remember what it
was called and someone found it for me right
away lol. It was Dragon Hunters (2008), which,
surprisingly enough, doesn't appear to be a
How to Train Your Dragon ripoff, considering
HTTYD came out in 2010
January 7th, 2024, 3:27 PM CST
I keep seeing TikToks from this one account
that's just a grown woman still making fun of
wolf girls, etc. and I just have to say what a
sad fucking way to live lol. As an ex-wolf girl
I'll kill you. Awoo bitch
January 7th, 2024, 5:10 AM CST
Cannot believe I made a whole website just
so I could talk to no one because I found
my own thoughts too burdensome when they sat
private in my skull, piling up and rotting in
there, and I found it too shameful to
dump all this putrid, decaying garbage on people
I knew and would see again. I'm writing this at
4-5 in the morning (it took a while bc I was
being all poetic), having been up all night,
and I have to go to school tomorrow. How
did I mess my sleep schedule up this badly
January 7th, 2024, 4:34 AM CST
Found this on Pinterest, as always
January 7th, 2024, 3:50 AM CST
There's a character in Raven the Deathless who
I specifically decided to give black leather
boots and gloves because of this one lostwave
song called Monster of Love in which the titular
"Monster of Love" is described as wearing those
things and the character in question is a
huge creep. I also based the opening scene
(which involves him) on Possum Kingdom by
Toadies just because :P
January 7th, 2024, 3:20 AM CST
Thinkin about that random alien character I
put in Raven the Deathless for """no reason"""
January 7th, 2024, 3:11 AM CST
Goddamn I hate the way I write casually. Why
does it sound like that. It's raw, unfiltered
brain sewage that's why
January 7th, 2024, 3:04 AM CST
Dancing Queen by ABBA always makes me think
of unrequited sapphic love specifically because
this one girl I used to have a "crush"
(technically a squish bc I'm probably aroace)
on was the only other person from our friend
group to attend this school event called
the "Neon Rave" our freshman year of high
school and I wore all black and stood off to
the sidelines bc I'm goffik like Ebony Darkness
Dementia Raven Way and also a huge wimp
whereas she danced and socialized and all
that and she really was the dancing queen but
as you might have guessed she did not like me
back because she was straight. Anyways whenever
I listen to Dancing Queen I imagine it as
the internal monologue of some cringe shy girl
dressed in black at a party watching her
social butterfly crush from afar, painfully
aware that they'll never be together, and
that's why lol. Though when I imagine it now
it's usually OCs of mine who do in fact end
up together, ex. Bonnie and Fae (respectively)
from this currently unnamed comic I'm
supposedly working on
January 6th, 2024, 7:04 PM CST
Sometimes I want to open my skull up and
remove my own brain so I won't have to deal
with its bullshit anymore. Or the burden of
consciousness, of course
January 6th, 2024, 6:55 PM CST
♫Evacuate the dancefloor (oh, oh) I'm infected
by the sound~♫
Gonna go listen to the nightcore version of this.
I have it stuck in my head if u can't tell lol
January 6th, 2024, 6:47 PM CST
Torment By Cosmic Forces could very well be
something I'll have to worry about in the
future, considering all the evidence that
I live in some sort of absurdist dark comedy or
something. Everything is silly and goofy but
also SO terrible and I'm horrifically
mentally ill
January 6th, 2024, 2:42 AM CST
I love how I say I'm not emo when I
literally named the domain for my personal
website after a lyric from a Linkin Park
song :/ ("You all assume I'm safe here in
my room" - Breaking the Habit)
January 5th, 2024, 4:23 PM CST
I wanna add a guestbook here but I'm worried
people will just insult me ugh -_-
January 5th, 2024, 3:55 PM CST
Me when I try to make friends
January 5th, 2024, 3:39 PM CST
LOL this is pretty much what's going on with
Murder, my horrible revenge fantasy
character from middle school :P
January 5th, 2024, 2:54 PM CST
There's a Shrek rave near me tonight. I'm not
going but there is one
Jaunary 5th, 2024, 2:53 AM CST
I just KNOW there are other people out there
who Get It but they don't live anywhere near
me T.T
January 4th, 2024, 3:47 AM CST
I made this song my ringtone
January 4th, 2024, 3:41 AM CST
I watched all the Air Buddies movies as a kid
and now I'm a FURRY!!!!!! If you don't want your
offspring to turn out like me don't let them
watch them
January 4th, 2024, 12:28 AM CST
Fucking hate my dentist he does the most cringe
fail fillings they're still sensitive after
a month >.<
January 3rd, 2024, 8:24 PM CST
Bruh I think I used to be an otherkin but it
was bullied out of me??? For a good while I
thought of myself as a werewolf or as having a
part of my soul that was Actually Literally
That Of A Cat, etc. --- all of this was of course
considered super weird so I stopped sometime
around 6th grade or so
January 3rd, 2024, 7:07 PM CST
So kylie boggly just posted He Will Explode so
naturally I downloaded all the songs and burned
them to a CD right away lol
If you don't know, He Will Explode is an
obscure/previously lost album from 2004 that
kylie discovered while investigating this
really weird christmas movie
January 2nd, 2024, 6:50 PM CST
Here's some pictures I found on Pinterest that I
feel deep down in my soul. Also my sister was
just practicing her trumpet, which I always
find incredibly annoying because it's loud :/
January 2nd, 2024, 2:56 AM CST
Ugh I seriously need to get around to making
that Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way -
inspired CD I've decided to call the Goffik
Playlist that just has songs by bands she's
confirmed to listen to from 2006 or
earlier on it. I said I'd do it like a month
ago(?) and I haven't even done the necessary
research for it :/
January 2nd, 2024, 2:32 AM CST
Thinkin about James again and how like every day
he'd be like "MICHAEL!!!! MICHAEL, DON'T
LEAVE ME HERE!!!!!!!!!!" because, if, perhaps,
you recall, he was a William Afton kinnie
January 2nd, 2024, 12:47 AM CST
OMG I just remembered the time I had to explain who
Vincent was to someone on Pinterest. Like
Rebornica's FNAF AU Vincent. Side note: it's
so interesting to me that new FNAF fans just
like. Don't know about any of that stuff. They
think the Phone Guy design with the red rotary
phone for a head came from Dayshift at
Freddy's and that's so wild to me. Which isn't
why having to explain who Vincent was was
notable for me, it was just. Vincent. Y'know
January 2nd, 2024, 12:31 AM CST
One of my favorite songs at the moment is
Telephone Telephone by Denise and literally the
only reason for that (besides the fact that it
slaps, of course) is it reminds me of 2
characters from one of my many projects lmao
January 1st, 2024, 3:16 AM CST
Just came across a Reddit post where someone was
complaining about an account posting videos of
them torturing/killing guinea pigs and my
fucking GOD I feel like strangling the
sick fucks who do things like that whenever I
hear about them. I want to rip this guy's throat
out with my teeth. I am filled with murderous
rage. Who's fucked enough in the head to film
themself abusing animals and then post the
videos online. I honestly genuinely want
to kill people like that and give them a
taste of their own medicine
December 31st, 2023, 5:41 PM CST
I love how my dad has literally seen a ghost
before (like the story is probably one of
the most convincing accounts of paranormal
activity I've ever heard) and he STILL doesn't
believe in them lmfao
December 31st, 2023, 4:00 AM CST
Thinkin about that kiosk at the mall that was selling
off-brand toys and there was a Bumblebee (from
Transformers) ripoff called RHUBARB!!! Rhubarb,
my beloved... ♡♡♡
December 31st, 2023, 2:32 AM CST
There's a (somewhat stale) bag of chips from
Chipotle that's been sitting in my room for 2 days
they're still pretty tasty tho lol
December 31st, 2023, 2:26 AM CST
I regularly think about the "I did NOT!!!" in
this video. Something about it really ~resonates~
with me
December 31st, 2023, 2:10 AM CST
I don't feel like looking for it right now but
there's this meme I've seen on Pinterest a couple
times in which its creator states that they
stole their personality from specifically the
version of Mike Schmidt from Rebornica's AU
and that, combined with the fact that when I was
in high school I met this kid named James who,
and I'm not exaggerating here, kinned William
Afton (because he was "evil;" notably, James was
not evil, at least as far as I could tell), plus
the fact that I kinda sorta kinned Phone Guy
back in the day (I was kind of onto something;
I am incredibly nervous, infamously
secretive/dishonest, and I do try to help people
but am unfortunately really bad at it, and I feel
like I'll die horrifically one day) means I need
to find this person so we can be the ~Holy Trinity of
Cursed FNAF Kinnies~ or whatever. IDK where
I was going with this I just needed to get it out
there lmao. Needed someone to see the actual crazy
shit
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
I was thinking about this past Friday when I
went to this pinball place with my sister and how
it was specifically because she wants to do
everything. In fact, we're both at that age where
we think we're going to do everything, except
while my "everything" is more like "I'm going to
at least become decent at writing, drawing,
music, coding, animation, and practical effects
and use those skills to make comics and
webseries and short films and video games," her
"everything" is doing ballet, fencing, and skiing;
becoming a mechanic, an at least semi-famous
figure skater, a CEO, a pinball wizard, and a spy;
and owning a 1930s Bentley (like Crowley from Good
Omens); etc. lol
December 29th, 2023, 4:44 AM CST
I have a small bruise on my leg dunno how I got it
December 29th, 2023, 4:37 AM CST
Goddamn I seriously need to improve my sleep
schedule look at when I'm posting this oof
I'm going to be so sleep deprived come this
next semester
December 29th, 2023, 4:04 AM CST
Thinkin about how we watched the movie Tombstone and
now my sister really likes Doc Holliday and every
time someone mentions dying of tuberculosis she
goes "You know who else died of tuberculosis??" lmao
December 28th, 2023, 5:27 AM CST
I keep thinking about this girl named Jessica I
met in an art class circa 2017. I was convinced we
were ~Bestest Friends In The Whole Wide World~
even though she probably hated me and, I suspect,
ultimately left because of me. I get it, though; I
talked incessantly about Five Nights at Freddy's
and honestly said some pretty bonkers shit
that makes me Actually want to kill myself when I
think about it (and I'm not kidding about that).
Sometimes I wish I could talk to her one last time
and tell her I'm not like that anymore.
December 25th, 2023, 10:24 AM CST
Probably my biggest unrealistic fantasy (besides,
y'know, the obvious, if you look around this site)
is discovering I'm one of like 3 people who owns an
ultra-valuable piece of lost media and also none
of the other owners are willing to post it online for
fear of decreasing the value so I can devastate them
by doing just that because I'm fuelled by spite lmao
December 25th, 2023, 12:26 AM CST
It's raining where I am right now and it's SO WEIRD
lol I don't think I've ever experienced rain on
christmas before. If it were colder it would be quite
festive but alas
December 22nd, 2023, 5:37 PM CST
I got my sister some sandalwood incense for christmas
because she wanted some and it smells much stronger
than I thought it would lol. Like even just having the
box in my room is making everything smell like
sandalwood, which isn't necessarily a bad
thing because it smells really good, but it is going
to make it a bit harder to hide. Our whole house is
going to smell like sandalwood once it's actually
burned lol
December 22nd, 2023, 1:21 AM CST
I'm planning a movie night for myself tomorrow night
(well, technically tonight) just because if you don't
do something fun for yourself every now and then
you'll be miserable all the time and I love how the 2
movies I've decided to watch are like some cheesy 80s
rom-com and a film noir movie about a man chasing
down his own killer lol
I also really shouldn't be awake right now because I
have to get up at 6 but whatever
December 21st, 2023, 3:00 AM CST
I just got an ad on Pinterest for realistic rubber
masks??? Like ones that go over your whole head and
chest and look like human faces??????? I also heard
a train in the the distance as I started writing this,
which is always fun in the middle of the night.
Makes me feel wistful. Makes me think of you
December 21st, 2023, 2:45 AM CST
Wondering if I should put a link to my SpaceHey on here
(and vice-versa). Hmmm
December 21st, 2023, 2:18 AM CST
Sometimes I wonder how many of the people who view this
site actually explore enough of it to see all this
December 21st, 2023, 2:15 AM CST
Thinkin about something embarrassing I did a while
back and I want to kill myself. Just to be clear I won't
but :/
December 18th, 2023, 2:32 AM CST
goddamn I talk like I'm the most interesting person on the
fucking planet and everybody wants to hear what I have
to say :/
December 17th, 2023, 12:00 PM CST
December 17th, 2023, 2:20 AM CST
IDK why but I keep seeing links to cat maker picrews in
my Pinterest feed and it's bringing me back to my
FeralFront days back in 2015 and the profile pic maker it
had. If u don't know FF is a now-defunct Warriors
roleplaying forum that was also a HUGE part of my life
between August 2015 and March 2016 because it was like
the only social interaction I got at the time lol.
It's also to this day the only place I've ever "met"
people who truly Understood Me™ lmao
December 17th, 2023, 2:04 AM CST
Thinkin about that girl I went to high school with who
hated that everyone always told her she looked like Ice
Spice and then proceeded to dye her hair in such a way
that she looked like Ice Spice
December 17th, 2023, 1:51 AM CST
This is quite possibly the greatest rap I've ever
written while playing Mad Verse City lmaooo
That is all
December 15th, 2023, 2:22 AM CST
Just saw a timelapse video in my Pinterest feed of a guy
painting something that included the phrase "What if
everything I think matters doesn't matter?" Too bad
that's not the point my guy. It doesn't matter if
nothing matters :/
December 14th, 2023, 11:49 PM CST
I am. VERY tempted to write like a short comic about
Murder, my horrible cringey revenge fantasy character
from middle school, bc I've been thinking about her more
and more recently. Like to an almost obsessive degree
December 14th, 2023, 6:22 PM CST
why am I so mean
December 14th, 2023, 6:19 PM CST
I think it's so funny that this guy (who I don't talk to
anymore) once tried to flirt with me by being like "*sigh*
I guess I'm just not goth enough for you -.-" when I'm not
even that goth lol. I listen to like 3 goth bands lmao
December 14th, 2023, 6:00 PM CST
Thinkin about that photoshop class I took my freshman
year of high school where the teacher said my self
portrait was "terrifying"
December 14th, 2023, 4:16 PM CST
I got some cavities filled a couple days ago and right
now I'm thinking about how you don't really realize
how much being able to feel a part of your body factors
in to your ability to move it until your face is full
of novocaine and suddenly you know what a stroke looks
like, which reminds me of how I used to sleep in jeans
sometimes back in the day and a couple times I woke up
unable to feel or move my feet because they cut off the
circulation :)
A word of advice: never sleep in jeans :)
December 14th, 2023, 3:55 PM CST
I'm so obsessed w/ this website I update it all the
time. I wish I could be this obsessed with that comic
I'm trying to write (Raven the Deathless)
December 13th, 2023, 11:25 PM CST
Thinkin about how you must be seeing all this and
seeing how I'm like "ohhh I'm so alone :(" and going
"yeah no wonder you're alone you dumb bitch you post
shit like this. I can see why no one can stand you"
December 13th, 2023, 4:06 PM CST
I keep thinking "baby squirrel" (as though it were
baby girl. Like "hey bbg B)" baby girl) and also just.
"RAVIOLI RAVIOLI GIVE ME THE FORMULOLI"
December 13th, 2023, 2:58 PM CST
Uggghhhhh I just started winter break and my horrible
brain still thinks I need to keep track of time/worry
about alarms/etc. -.-
December 12th, 2023, 8:04 PM CST
Found a website that was created in the "future"
because of differing time zones
December 12th, 2023, 7:36 PM CST
Bruh if u think liminal spaces are scary I can tell you've never
been outside in ur LIFE because when you're actually standing in
a real liminal space it feels more melancholic than creepy. Go to
the grocery store at midnight, bitch. Stand in the parking lot and
look at the moon and breathe in the night air
